Hyoshaku, "Kiritsubo" introduction part 2

Here's the second part of Hagiwara's introduction, with his 評 (analysis).  It's longer than the rest of the intro put together so you can see how important he thought this aspect of commentary was.  The translation is something of a challenge because Hagiwara has long sentences and a lot of effusive praise for Murasaki Shikibu's ability using the same words over and over.  Hagiwara expands on a lot of these ideas in his intepretive notes to the chapter itself.

評　この物語の筆遣ひのいみじきとはいふもさらなれど、この巻は初の巻なればにや、ことにいみじき所々多し。まづ、最初に帝の更衣を寵し給ふことの甚だしきよしをいひおこして、次々に人のそしり恨みのおこるさまをいひ、さてその恨みねたみの故によりて、つひに更衣は病となりて、うせ給へるよしをいへるは、或人もいへるごとく、源氏の君の孤（みなしご）となり給へることをいひて、見む人のあはれの深くかかるべきほどしたるなるべし。

It goes without saying that the composition in this tale is excellent, but perhaps because this is the first chapter, there are an unusual amount of excellent places. First the story recounts the depth of the love of the Emperor for the Intimate, and next the resentment and criticism of others, and then how because of that resentment and jealousy the Intimate soon becomes sick and dies. As someone said, Genji becomes an orphan, and those who see him are bound to be filled with a deep pity.

さて、その次に更衣の身まかられたるを、帝の深く惜しみ歎かせ給ひて、更衣の母北方のかたへ靫負（ゆげひ）の命婦を遣はされたる所、また命部が帰り参りたるところの一段（くだり）は殊に語（ことば）をえりととのへて、文づらをはなやかに心をかなしく書きなされたり。その中にをりからのけしきを書かれたるなどは、さらにいとめでたきに、その法（のり）おごそかに乱れずして、悲しびを添ふる響きとなれるさまかえても、及ばぬ筆づきといふべし。

After that, the Emperor feels deep longing and regret for the Intimate's passing, and he sends Yugei no Myobu to the Intimate's mother's house. This section, including the return of Myobu to the palace, is especially well crafted, written with beauty and sadness. Within this section, the depiction of the scenery arising from the season is even more splendid, and the solemn and flawless way this is combined with the sadness of the scene is an example of unequaled compositional skill.

さて、そこまでは上に楊貴妃のためしと書き出でられたるより、白氏文集なる長恨歌を下に匂はせて書かれたるに、その脉（すぢ）、つゆも乱れず、かつ彼にはよりながらいづこもいづこもその語（ことば）の意をとりかへて、新らしくめづらしく書きなされたるなど、巻々の引歌の法と同じくして、文章の余韻（にほひ）となりたる、えもいはれずめでたし。

Now previous to this, the tale brings out the example of Yokihi and the section has overtones of Bai Juyi's “Song of Neverending Sorrow.” This is never the least bit rough, and even though borrowing from the other work, the Genji uses the words to write new and splendid material – just like the many examples of poetic allusion in the chapters of the Tale, it is indescribably excellent.

さて、末にいたりて、源氏の君の伝に移り、その容貌（かたち）と才芸とのいみじくめでたきよしをいふ中に、高麗の相人に見せ給へることをいひて、一世のほどにあるべきことをまづいはせたるなど、ぬけ出でたる書きざまといふべし。 これなん一部のおもふきを思ひ構へられたることの初めなりける。

Then later in the chapter the story switches to the story of Genji, and while describing his peerless looks and ability, the visit of the man from Koma describes what will happen in Genji's entire life, which can be seen as writing beyond compare. [This is the beginning of the planning of one part of the work.(?)]

さて、その後元服し給ひて、その夜左大臣殿のむこに成り給へることをいへるは、やうやう大人になり給へることを知らせたるにて、この巻のことをすぢここに終れり。さる中に、藤壺中宮の伝、左右大臣の伝、弘徽殿の女御のこと、東宮の御こと、頭中将、葵上のことなど挿（さしはさ）みあらはして、末の巻々の源因とせられたるなど、いともいとも透間（すきま）なきものなり。

Now after this, Genji has his donning of the trousers, and that night becomes the son-in-law of the Minister of the Left, showing that Genji has become an adult, and with this the storyline of this chapter ends. Within this chapter, there are stories dealing with Fujitsubo, the Ministers of the Left and Right, the Kokiden Consort, the Crown Prince, To no Chujo, Lady Aoi – these are interspersed within the main story to serve as seeds for stories in later chapters.  There is never a wasted moment.

おほかた、巻中の人々のことは、源氏の君の御族の一とも、藤壺中宮の一とも、左大臣殿中将の一とも、右大臣弘徽殿女御の一ともにて、その余（ほか）の人々は皆それに属（つき）たるがごとき人々也。さればそのむねとある限りをば、皆この巻に引き出でて、末の巻の基とせられたる法（のり）いとおごそかにめでたし。

For the most part, the characters in the entire work have to do with the family of Genji, Fujitsubo, the Minister of the Right and To no Chujo, the Minster of the Left, and Kokiden – any other characters are related to these in some way. So having all of them appear in the first chapter as a base for future chapters is well written.

さて、巻の末にいたりて、再び光る君といふ名のことをいひて、とぢめられたるにて、この巻はこの君の本伝をむねお書かれたることも、おのづからあらはれて、かぎりなく味はひ深し。大方かかることは、先達もをりをり注せられたることあれど、さしも委しく意はれたるもなければをこがましけれど、さし出でて評ずるなり。見む人、意の過ぎたるを思ひゆるしてよ。

At the end of the chapter, the name “The Shining Genji” appears once again to close the chapter, showing naturally that this chapter is mostly about Genji himself – this shows deep, unparalleled skill. For the most part these things can be found in other previous commentaries, but since they weren't detailed enough, I decided to be presumptuous and put my own analysis here. Readers, please forgive me.